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In 2007, I had coffee with a church planter in New York City who had recently moved there from Dallas, TX. This was at the height of the urban church planting craze and I was looking to plant in an urban city with the denomination I belonged to at the time. I was intrigued by this planter because, although he came from a Baptist background, he was part of a multi-denominational church planting group and was being mentored by a Presbyterian pastor in Manhattan. (Any guesses?)

I’ll never forget what I learned from him in that noisy Starbucks at 34th and Par...